WHY INTEGRATING & HEALING YOUR SUBPERSONALITIES?

Tibetan Stupa in Sedona Arizona at The School of Remembering

A subpersonality is any aspect of yourself that has a specific function, attitude, or identity that operates in an individual and recognizable manner. For instance, you have an inner Child who feels and responds to life emotionally and from a place of needing to feel cared for and safe. This part of you exists whether you are newborn, 100 years old, or any age in between. Many books and healing modalities focus exclusively or largely on assisting you in becoming familiar with and creating healthy subpersonalities. Psychosynthesis, Alchemical Hypnotherapy, Regression Facilitation, Voice Dialogue and Inner Child work are some more contemporary examples of such modalities.

Since early times, communication with and balancing of subpersonalities have held vital roles in various cultures. Long before Jung or Freud “originated” subpersonality work, certain Native American tribes, African Tribes, Druids, Goddess-based spiritual traditions, and other cultures recognized the need to honor the existence of diversity within the individual. This has been done through ceremonial rituals, personal inner focus time, healing sessions and medicine wheels. A medicine wheel is a circular area outdoors either outlined in small rocks in four or more directions. Ceremonies, gatherings and personal spiritual activities are all held inside the medicine wheel from time to time. Throughout the ages, humans have also designed and worn masks, created costumes, painted their faces, mimicked other beings, and performed rites of passage to facilitate the incorporation and health of different aspects of themselves.

There are two categories of subpersonalities. The first category consists of aspects of yourself that develop relative to your individual personality needs and expression. For example, if you have a lot of sexual denial, you may have an Inner Prude and an Inner Whore. They have developed due to neglect and judgement of parts of yourself that are whole and natural but that have been denied their freedom of expression. Another example is the subpersonality that might be called the Inner Critic. This aspect may have grown in you if you were invalidated and scolded excessively as a child. Some part of your subpersonality adopted the behavior of your parents and teachers and took over where they left off. These types of dysfunctional subpersonalities need to be healed, educated and reintegrated into your wholeness and self-esteem.

The second category is made up of aspects of yourself that will always be a part of you. This category on which this article focusses. The Four subpersonalities of this category are: the Inner Nurturer, the Inner Child, the Inner Warrior/ Warrioress and the Inner Spirit. Their states of health are reflections of both your inner and outer lives. Your freedom to be emotionally spontaneous and honest, your ability to carry through on commitments and accept responsibility, and your spiritual connection are among the many things that create healthy or imbalance in these aspects of yourself.

This article does not cover the subject in its totality, but gives an invitation to explore in much more depth. It is important that you understand the basics of subpersonality work, since issues that arise are most easily resolved through communication with and healing of your subpersonalities.

The subpersonalities process used in this article has its origins in a specific Native American tradition that I am told dates back to at least 25.000 years. The process is based on teachings about the medicine wheel and the four directions that, regardless of the individual ceremony or personal focus, are always aimed at balancing and harmonizing. Honoring and balancing the four directions are parts of the most medicine wheels.

South represents planet Earth, the Earth element, and the physical body. The Inner Nurturer is associated with this direction.
West represents the water element and the emotional body. The Inner Child is located here.
North is the direction of the Air element and the mental body. Inner Warrior/ Warrioress is associated with the North.
East represents the fire element, light and the spirit body. It is the direction of the Inner Spirit.

When working with the four subpersonalities, or places on your “personal shield”, as the whole subpersonality system is called in some Native American teachings, it is important to know that each subpersonality has a positive and important function in your life regardless of any imbalances or dysfunction being expressed. Each subpersonality should be treated like a sacred being. The purpose of meeting your subpersonality’s of your personal shield is to balance them through awareness, understanding, communication, and action.

Awareness comes first from meeting your subpersonalities and finding out how they are doing and what their needs and wants are. Upon initially meeting these sacred aspects of your personal shield, you will ask the subpersonalities what their names are. You will see, sense, feel an image for each subpersonality with your inner eyes and talk to it as if you were addressing a physical person. Then you will listen. In order to understand how that part of you thinks and feels and what its needs are, you will ask questions.

The subpersonality may tell you ways in which it feels unfulfilled and stifled, or joyful and fulfilled. Your job is to listen with caring and understanding as that part of you shares its feelings, its hopes and dreams, and its little wishes. When you have heard the answers to all your questions, you will be complete with the initial meeting. You will say your goodbye for the time being and agree to connect at a later time.

The decision on how often you meet with your subpersonalities, or “balance your personal shield”, is up to you. The particular Native American people from whom I learned this particular recommend balancing your personal should daily. I have find that I tend to do so about once a week. The process may be so profound and vital that it becomes your most important daily focus. There was a time when it was a vital daily practice for me. When I leave the medicine wheel and journaling from each of my sacred parts, I tell the aspect in the four directions approximately when I will see them again. This communication is important for making the process real and meaningful for yourself and your inner parts.

The next step is action. If your Inner Nurturer tells you that you are watching to much television, or you are partying too much and that you need to spend more time being in nature or taking long baths, you need to listen and follow through on these suggestions to the best of your ability. If you cannot comply for some reason, be honest with your Inner Nurturer and tell it why you cannot heed the advice given. What your subpersonalities ask for is genuinely intending to bring you back into balance with yourself and your life. It is important that you intent to take action, however possible, based on the feedback; without this intention not only is the process useless, but your self-trust will deteriorate as well.

In the particular Native American tradition that I learned, you meet each part of your personal shield in a vision quest. You find a spot in nature to which you are drawn, and you make an offering pf tobacco, smudge, corn, or some other gift. This spot is ideally one in which you feel particularly strong connection with the element that direction represents. South representing earth element, for example.

Next you sit on the earth and go into a silent meditation, asking the aspect with whom you desire contact to come forth. Then you wait for this aspect to present itself. You might hear a voice, see, sense or feel the presence of what your subpersonality looks, feels or senses like. You both need to establish the image and the communication before you are through. Then the dialogue takes place. After the communication is complete, you may take an item from the quest location back to your altar or outdoor medicine wheel as a physical symbol of the relationship. This can be a rock, a leaf, a piece of tree bark, or anything ells that feels right. You choose a separate quest location for each of the four parts of your personal shield.

You can also do this process by going into meditation and visualizing a outdoor location that suits each of the four directions. After entering into a relaxed state, you will offer prayers to the Great Spirit, God/ Goddess/ All The Is, or whatever you call the Divine Oneness. Give thanks and ask for clarity and assistance as you meditatively quest to meet your four subpersonalities.

Meeting your Inner Nurturer

The first direction to work with is the South, which in this practice represents the Earth element. Earth is the source point of your physical birth, your connection with your physical mother and the Goddess, your physical body, grounding, security, and nurturing. From the South you receive food, shelter, clothing, and all things physical. In this medicine wheel teaching, you honor and thank the South, or the Earth, for all of these gifts of sustenance, including your body, which sustain your spirit here on Earth.

The subpersonality that lives in the South part f your medicine wheel is your Inner Nurturer. Your Inner nurturer is the part of your that knows about and takes care of your needs, as well as keeps other parts of your personality in balance. If you are out of touch with your Inner Nurturer, you tend to be out of balance in life. You may experience symptoms such as feeling overly needy of attention and nurturing from others because you are not giving these things to yourself. Maybe your whole life focuses on work and you never take time to play or spend intimate time with yourself or your loved ones.

When you are out of balance, and you get in touch with your Inner Nurturer, he or she knows what is needed to bring you back into balance again. Even if your needs are emotional or spiritual, your inner nurturer keeps track of your overall balance and well-being. If your needs are specific to self-nurturing, you may need to get more massages, or take quiet, unscheduled time alone. Perhaps your diet is not truly nourishing your body and giving you what you need. Maybe you need to take longs baths, or do yoga, or sing and play music more. Whatever you need, your Inner Nurturer knows. If this subpersonality has become extremely dysfunctional and damaged, communication can be confusing at first. He or she may be hurt and frustrated and no want to talk to you. This is a symbolic refection of the fact that you are feeling betrayed and angry with yourself for not paying attention to your own needs. If you can take responsibility, without guilt, shame or blame, for creating the dilemma, the subpersonality will usually come around and tell you what is needed and why he or she feels so out of balance. Remember, your job is to listen with sincere understanding and nonjudgement and then to plan with the subpersonality how you will correct the problem through action in your life.

Whether you are meditating indoors or doing a vision quest outdoors to meet your Inner Nurturer, and your other subpersonalities, write down your questions, or intent to record he answers you receive in your body. So you will remember after the session and are able to take action on them.

Meeting your Inner Child

The Inner Child lives in the West of your medicine wheel. The West, in my teachings, is the home of water and your emotions. Dreams, feelings, the shadow side of your personality, your subconscious, and inner journeying are all functions of the West.

In your personal shield, your Inner Child holds the qualities of emotional spontaneity and honesty, curiosity, and freedom to be playful and joyful. Her or she approaches the world and other people with awe and wonder. Your Inner Child never takes anyone or anything for granted and finds exploring and learning about life and other people to be most fun when they are done experientially. He or she loves to examine the details of the tiniest wildflower, or gaze the monumental statures of trees, in awe of the complexity and perfection of nature. Watching a bumble bee or an ant colony and being delighted can take up a whole afternoon. Your Inner Child is fully absorbed in whatever he or she is doing unless feeling stifled ad bored by lack of freedom. This subpersonality shows enthusiasm and expresses pleasure easily and cherishes his or her dreams and fantasies.

When your Inner Child is out of balance, you may feel restless, agitated, frustrated, bored or apathetic. All of these are signs that your Inner Child needs more freedom or expression. Have you become too sophisticated to share your dreams, or to feel awe and wonder in the presence of a busy squirrel or a brightly colored insect? Do you hide your true feelings because you think it would be uncouth or immature to express them? Do you look at your mate and close friends with the inquisitiveness and excitement of wanting to know more about the vastly conscious beings before you? Are your relationships alive, loving, and never changing, or boring and predictable? Do you let yourself cry and laugh out loud at special moments in your life or at good movies? Or do you drink, smoke, eat sweets, watch movies or overindulge in any way when you feel uncomfortable emotions coming to the surface? Most additions are due to a repressed and controlled Inner Child.

When you go into your vision quest to meet your Inner Child, it is important you be available for full emotional and verbal expression. If your Inner Child is lifeless and sad, or distrusting and sulky, it may take a little time to win his or her trust. Be very honest with this part of yourself, because even the slightest deception will be seen as a reason for distrust and feelings of hurt and betrayal. Your Inner Child needs you to support its freedom, joy, and a vast array of feeling states. The reward for giving yourself this needed support are a happier, more balanced life, and more self-respect and self-love.

Meeting your Inner Warrior/ Warrioress

The North is the direction in which our Inner Warrior/ Warrioress lives. In this practice, the North is the direction of Air and the mind, or mental body. It is the home of learning, teaching, clarity, responsibility, organizational ability, purpose in the world and linear accomplishment.

Your Inner Warrior/ Warrioress is responsible for taking care of the practical linear aspects of your life. This subpersonality pays your bills, keeps your house clean, cooks food, shops, balanced your check book, goes to school, has a profession, in general functions in all of the areas of labor and your mind. He or she also serves as your protector and guardian. Your Inner Warrior/ Warrioress stands up for you when needed. Deals with confrontation with others and keep your Inner Child feeling safe and secure.

When your Inner Warrior/ Warrioress is out of balance, your either a workaholic, over bearing and domineering, or confused, ineffectual, wimpy, lazy, or prone to procrastination. Maybe you spend so much time, being responsible for work and physical survival, that you neglect your spiritual life or emotional needs. You might be so worried about not having the energy to get everything done that you spin your wheels and actually accomplish very little. Your mind might be in such a state of confusion, that you need more meditation, or a vacation to help you focus on one thing at a time. Problems such as an overdrawn bank account, a dirty messy home, or lethargy due to emotional imbalances that effecting your mental balance, may plague your life. You may control everyone around your and your environment in over protecting of your vulnerable Inner Child, who needs healing. Whatever is going on, your Inner Warrior/ Warrioress can help you understand it when you establish contact and communication.

Meeting your Inner Spirit

The East, which is the home of your Inner Spirit, is also the direction representing fire and light. In the East, the direction of the sunrise, lie hope, aspirations, inspiration, creativity, spiritual beliefs and practices, your spirit itself, enlightenment, ascension, and connection with Great Spirit, God/ Goddess/ Al That Is, or the Divine Oneness.

The f8unctions of your Inner Spirit, include obvious things such as meditation, prayer, your spiritual life. Weather your spiritual activities consist of quiet meditation, reading spiritual books, connecting with a spiritual teach or ascended master, praying, spending time in nature, or going to rituals and ceremonies, your Inner Spirit is the one who does these things. This subpersonality’s less obvious areas of focus are sexuality, creativity, magic, dance, music, and connection with yourself, others, and Divinity.

When your Inner Spirit is out of balance, you are probably giving to much attension to other aspects of life and to little to spirit or vice versa. Regardless, the imbalance will show up in the East of your personal shield. You might experience it as feelings of hopelessness, defeatism, and futility. Lack of spiritual faith and connection leave your feeling uninspired, only taking care of what you have to in life, but not experiencing the magic. Or you might meditate all the time and never get in touch with your emotions or sexual nature. Being a spiritual hermit, maybe an excuse for feeling inadequate or awkward socially. Are you to stoic to dance, appreciate or create music, or make love under the full moon? When was the last time you experienced being in nature and feeling connected to God/ Goddess or Oneness in All things? Do you practice what you preach and live in integrity and truth in your life? Do you celebrate the accomplishment of others, or feel envious or threaten by them? When you make love, is it just for the local release and lusty sensations, or do you really care about the other person and give to him or her as well as receive? Do you move sexual energy through your chakras and use sex as a way of opening more deeply and vulnerably to yourself, your partner, and God Goddess/ All That IS? Do you allow true intimacy in your life? Are you exited and inspired by life’s lessons and opportunities for growth, or do you try to maintain the status quo, or believe you are so evolved that you have nothing left to learn? All of this are questions for your Inner Spirit, and the answers imply his or her health and balance, or dysfunction.

With these issues and any of your own that come to your mind, prepare for the meeting with your Inner Spirit. Be open and receptive and carry as few preconceived ideas and ideals as possible. When you are ready, do the quest for your Inner Spirit.

Balancing your personal shield

Now that you have met each of your subpersonality’s you are ready to balance your personal shield. To do so, go into a meditative state, imagine yourself entering a medicine circle, made of stones, in which your four subpersonality’s live, and move around the circle, meeting and communicating with each other. Ask the following questions of each of your four subpersonality’s in the four direction.

1.) How are you?

2.) How are the changes I have made since our last meeting, working for you?

3.) What do you need?

4.) What do you want?

In the tradition I learned you enter in the East and immediately walk in a clockwise direction first to the South. After connecting with your Inner Nurturer in the South, move on in a clockwise direction to the West where you have a dialogue with your Inner Child. From there, continue to move clockwise to the North, where your Inner Warrior/ Warrioress awaits. Lastly you move clockwise to the east and finish by meeting with your inner spirit. When you are done, image walking out of the circle. Now you have balanced your personal shield.

In my signature “ Deep Healing Bodywork ” or “ Energy healing session ” I can guide you through a process of integrating & healing your subpersonalities. These healing sessions can be done in person in Bali or online through Skype, Zoom, WhatsApp or FaceTime. For more info please “ connect ”.

Much love and blessings Martijn